Monday, November 26, 2007

Chaos and questions...

I realized that we were merely watching. I was wasting precious time just sitting here when I could be asking questions. I turned towards the man, he had in fact been staring at me. He spoke before I could even open my mouth.

"You look so confused, but I do not see any fear in your eyes. I know you must have many questions, but for now it is best we wait for this room to clear out, then we can begin. Is that alright?" His green eyes looked warm, inviting, and trusting.

Without even hesitating I nodded my head. Why did his eyes make me feel so compelled to just agree with every word he spoke? What is wrong with me?

The people milled about around us, as though we were not there on the floor. They went about their tasks and finally they seemed to single file leave the room. The quiet that enveloped me was as loud as a thundercloud. It was almost deafening in its silence.

I turned to the man, ready to speak, but again he beat me to words.
"Now. We can begin to talk. Is there anything I can get you? Are you hungry or thirsty?"

Before he asked the questions food or drink had never entered my mind. Now though with thought towards being able to eat something it was as though my stomach & throat had awakened. A growl issued low in my gut and my throat was as dry as cotton.

"Yes." I struggled with the word as my mouth moved. Thirsty did not even begin to describe how I now felt. He stood to move towards the door, I thrust my hand to stop him.

"No. Don't, that door must stay closed." The words confused him but for some reason it was the first clear thought I had made. "You must not open the door, not yet. It isn't time. The water in the kitchen will be fine, I will go with you." How I knew about the kitchen is a mystery to me. But my mind told me that beyond the door there was something dangerous and it must move past us before we could venture through it.

"I don't understand. How do you know about the kitchen and what is beyond the door?" The surprise was clear on his face. Confusion had now sunk into his features and he now turned to look at me head on.

"Do you know how you got here? Do you remember? Have your memories come back? You must explain!" He held my shoulders and his face was so close to mine, there was a slight desperation to his voice, almost as though he was terrified to believe me.

"I-I-I truly do not know how I know the kitchen is there. As for the door, it is almost as though something in my mind is giving me the information. I mean, the instinct of fear came first, but then it is like I just knew that we would be okay in here, but out there... there is something we hav to avoid for a little while. Please believe me." I almost cried when he nodded. It was as though having his trust meant more than living at the moment.

"I believe you Ariana. Just let me think about this for a minute." He stood and paced toward the kitchen.

Ariana. He had called me Ariana. Is that my name? It hurt to not even recognize it, to have no inkling to who I was.

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